TOPICS: You were not created to be alone – the Conscious You was not created to be alone – the Conscious You has forgotten the I AM Presence – thus, it feels unwhole and longs for wholeness – many actions spring from sense of aloneness – leads to addictions – seeking wholeness through something outside yourself – seeking wholeness through sex – outer addiction and spiritual addiction – ultimate wholeness only from I AM Presence – sexual union can help people heal – it can also be a diversion for true inner wholeness with I AM Presence – find wholeness inside yourself – overcome inner conflict about sex – inner wholeness is greater fulfillment than sex –
Question: Dear Jesus, The fall occurred during the incarnation of the 4th root race, which is the base of the spine chakra. It is apparent that this planet has a lot of difficulty with sex misuses. What is your advice in overcoming these misused energies. How does anyone overcome their addiction to sex especially when it is so prevalent in all levels of society.
Answer from ascended master Jesus through Kim Michaels:
I have already commented on this issue in the answer to several other questions in this section, and my comments are relevant to this answer. I also recommend that you consider my answer to a question about how to combat a lifelong addiction. However, I would like to take this opportunity to give a deeper teaching on the issue of sex. I realize that this issue has been a problem for many truly spiritual people, so let me give you some teachings that might help people get a deeper understanding.
As I explained elsewhere, your lifestream was first created by your spiritual parents. You were crated as an individualization of God, and your unique individuality is expressed and anchored in your spiritual self, or I AM Presence. At some point your lifestream decided that it wanted to experience the material universe from the inside and it wanted to help co-create this aspect of God’s creation. Your lifestream then created an extension of itself, which is the Conscious You.
The important point to understand in this context is that the Conscious You was never created to be alone. It was created as an extension of your spiritual self, and it was literally meant to be at planet orbiting the sun of your spiritual self. However, your Conscious You is endowed with a sense of individual existence, and the Conscious You has free will. Therefore, it is possible that the Conscious You can change its sense of identity so that it no longer sees itself as an extension of the I AM Presence. This is indeed what happened in the process that the Bible describes as the Fall of Man and which, as I explain throughout this website, was a fall into a lower state of consciousness.
To use the planetary metaphor, one might say that the planet of the Conscious You stopped spinning on its axis. You know that if the earth stopped spinning, one side of the planet would be in constant darkness. If you were living on that side of the planet, you might have no idea that there was a sun shining on the other side. This then is literally what has happened to most lifestreams on earth. They have forgotten the sun of the spiritual self.
However, this forgetfulness only exists at the surface level of consciousness. The Conscious You can never fully forget that it was created as an extension of the I AM Presence. Even though the Conscious You can build a separate sense of identity, it can never feel complete and whole in that sense of identity. The Conscious You can feel whole only when it is consciously connected to the I AM Presence. Therefore, even though a Conscious You has fallen into a lower state of consciousness, it still has a deep inner longing for wholeness, a deep inner sense that something is missing from it’s life.
When you understand this, you realize that the majority of the thoughts, feelings and actions in which people engage relate to the deep inner sense of aloneness or lack of wholeness that the Conscious You feels. If you look at my discourse on the different levels of spiritual development, you might say that the further people descend into the lower state of consciousness, the more lonely they feel. Yet because they cannot or will not recognize the spiritual side of life, they have no way to resolve this sense of aloneness. Instead, the only option is to cover over the sense of being alone and unwhole.
This then leads to all kinds of beliefs and behaviors that are directed at diverting their attention from the deep inner sense of emptiness. It also leads to a number of beliefs that are designed to make people feel that they don’t need to change their lives, that they are okay as they are or that there is no way out of the sense of emptiness. Such beliefs and behaviors can very quickly lead to various types of addictions to the things of this world, meaning everything from chemical substances to possessions, power and sex.
Incidentally, many of these addictions are encouraged by or even created by certain orthodox or fundamentalist beliefs. Such closed belief systems are designed to prevent people from recognizing and doing something about their inner sense of emptiness. They are designed to keep them trapped in the material world instead of transcending this world by reuniting with their spiritual selves.
Any type of belief system or behavior that leads people into an emotional or physical addiction is always supported and reinforced by the dark forces who seek to control people. That is why breaking an addiction is literally a battle for the survival, the spiritual survival, of your lifestream. What I am trying to explain here is that for people who have descended far into the
dualistic state of mind, such addictions are primarily the result of an unwillingness to face the need to reconnect the Conscious You to the I AM Presence. It is an attempt to push aside the need for true personal change and spiritual transformation.
As people rise to higher levels of awareness, they begin to recognize the spiritual side of life. They become more consciously aware of the fact that their lifestreams are not whole and that they need to become whole. As a result, they begin to realize that the things of this world will not make them feel whole. This will gradually help them overcome addictions to outer things, and they begin to focus most of their attention on the spiritual needs of the lifestream. They no longer feel a need to cover their sense of aloneness; they feel a need to truly resolve it. Yet at the beginning stages of this growth process, it is almost inevitable that the lifestream will reason that, because it feels unwhole, it must need something from outside itself in order to become whole. Therefore, the lifestream will throw itself into a search for that magical something that can make it feel whole.
One aspect of this search is the search for the perfect partner, including the perfect sexual partner. Many people experience brief glimpses of inner wholeness as a result of sexual union. This is a natural process, which if used correctly can actually serve to heal the lifestream of its sense of separation. Unfortunately, as I explain in another discourse, everything in this world is a two-edged sword. Therefore, what can serve as a tool for the lifestream’s liberation can also become a trap for the lifestream, and this is especially true of sex.
The problem occurs when spiritual seekers begin to believe that sexual union is necessary to experience wholeness. This can lead to an emotional attachment to sex, which can become a spiritual addiction. I realize this is a subtle distinction, but what I call an outer addiction is an activity that is designed to cover the lifestreams sense of not being whole. In other words, it numbs the lifestream. A spiritual addiction is something that makes the lifestream feel that its wholeness is dependent upon engaging in a certain activity. Incidentally, religious activities can become such a spiritual addiction, but since the topic is sex, I will not go into that here.
My point is that for many truly spiritual people, sex becomes a spiritual addiction. They literally begin to believe that the key to their inner wholeness is to find the perfect partner, and this leads many people into a lifelong search for the perfect spouse and the perfect sex. Most of these people are not addicted to sex as a physical addiction. They are not really addicted to sex in the traditional sense. However, they have a deep desire to feel whole and connected and they believe sex is the way – perhaps the only way – to fulfill this desire.
This is a subtle point that might require some contemplation. As a lifestream grows in spiritual awareness, it will become more aware that it is unwhole, and it will develop a stronger desire to overcome the sense of not being whole. If the lifestream does not fully understand that ultimate wholeness can be experienced only through union with the I AM Presence, then the lifestream might believe that the key to wholeness is to experience union with another part of life, meaning another person.
Obviously, sexual union is a powerful way to experience oneness with another person. Because the lifestream has such a strong desire for wholeness, the lifestream can develop a very strong desire for sexual union. Such people want to have as much sex as possible, often with more than one partner. Some people have such a strong desire for union with life that they want this union with any person who seems attractive to them. They believe that sex will bring them closer to wholeness. In other words, sex is not used to cover over the desire for wholeness or to divert the attention from this desire. Sex is now used as a tool for creating a sense of wholeness.
Now comes the real subtle point. At certain stages of the spiritual path, this can actually have a beneficial effect. If a lifestream engages in sex out of a true desire to attain a state of wholeness, sex can actually help the lifestream achieve healing. By engaging in sexual union, especially if it is done with true love and care for a partner, the lifestream can heal and overcome its sense of aloneness. It can also become far less centered in the dualistic state of identity that developed after the fall. This is the true potential of a successful marriage in which husband and wife attain the highest spiritual union.
However, as the lifestream rises on the spiritual path, there will come a point where it needs to transcend its use of and understanding of sex as a tool for union. As I said earlier, at the beginning stages of the spiritual path it is almost inevitable that the lifestream believes that in order to become whole, it needs something from outside itself. This is true in the sense that the lifestream can attain wholeness only through union with the I AM Presence. The subtle illusion that traps many truly spiritual people is that they believe that God or the spiritual self is somehow, somewhere outside of themselves. This one illusion is the most difficult illusion to overcome for any spiritual seeker.
Many lifestreams have made great progress on the spiritual path. Unfortunately, many of them reach a threshold from which it is extremely difficult to proceed. The only way to get beyond this threshold is to stop looking for something outside of yourself. You need to overcome any attachment to, any co-dependence upon, anything that you perceive as being outside of yourself. You need to realize that the only key to wholeness is found inside yourself.
As I said earlier, the Conscious You is created as an extension of the spiritual self. An extension of the spiritual self is not apart from, it is not separate from, the spiritual self. This is the problem that occurs in the world of form, because in this world you see different forms as being separate. Even the model I just gave you of the Conscious You being like a planet orbiting the sun promotes this sense of separation. One might therefore contemplate a different model, where the Conscious You is seen as a wave on the ocean of the spiritual self. In other words, the Conscious You is no more separated from the spiritual self than a wave is separated from the ocean.
The essential point here is that you cannot attain ultimate wholeness as long as you think that wholeness depends on anything outside of yourself. The key to wholeness is to stop seeing yourself as being separated from your source, meaning both your spiritual self and God. The sense of separation exists only in your mind, and therefore the only place to overcome that sense of separation is in your mind. You must overcome the illusion that you were ever separated from your spiritual self. You must come to realize that the key to making contact with your spiritual self, the key to attaining union with that spiritual self, is to direct your attention inside of yourself and to stop directing it outside yourself. You must stop looking for the philosopher’s stone, the magical wand that will suddenly make you feel one with God. The philosopher’s stone is not outside yourself; it is inside yourself—it is your Christ self.
So my point here is that for many truly spiritual people sexual union can eventually become a trap that prevents them from looking inside themselves because their attention is always directed towards a partner. Many spiritual people intuitively feel that there is a legitimate goal behind their desire for sexual union, and this makes it very difficult for them to overcome the desire for sex. They feel that they would lose something important by giving it up. This sets up an inner conflict that will make it virtually impossible to overcome any desire for sex.
Take note of an essential point. As long as you have an inner conflict about any aspect of the spiritual path, you cannot take the next step on the path. You will be stuck at that step until you resolve the conflict and achieve inner clarity and oneness of purpose. This can be achieved only by reaching for the single-eyed vision of the Christ mind. Remember my statement that if thine eye be single, thy whole body is full of light. A house divided against itself cannot move forward on the path.
To overcome this stalemate, you need to get to a point where you realize that giving up sex is not a loss because you get something more important and fulfilling in return. You need to do some inner searching and decide on your true priorities. How badly do you want the inner wholeness of the Conscious You? You need to decide that no matter how wonderful sex might feel, you desire something more. You desire something deeper, namely the sense of oneness with your spiritual self, which I can assure you is a far greater sense of ecstasy and fulfillment than anything you could experience during sex. You must decide to stop chasing the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and instead direct your attention within.
This is what I attempted to explain in my saying to seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all else shall be added unto you. The kingdom of God is the Christ consciousness and it can be attained only through union with your Christ self, which is the mediator between the Conscious You and your I AM Presence. Your Christ self is inside of you, and the key to retaining contact with that Christ self is to direct your attention within. When you do attain contact with your Christ self and the righteousness, meaning the right use of your free will and your attention, all else, meaning the sense of ultimate union with your spiritual self, will be added unto you. It is truly the Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom of spiritual union. However, the key to the kingdom is inside yourself.
So my basic point for this long discourse is to show you that the ultimate way to overcome an addiction to sex is to take a two-pronged approach:
• Use all tools available to free yourself from the outer forces that seek to trap you in an addiction to sex, as described elsewhere.
• When you have made a sincere effort to rise above the downward pull of dark forces and the mass consciousness, recognize that your desire for sexual union springs from the Conscious You’s desire for wholeness. Recognize that this desire cannot be ultimately fulfilled through sexual union. Therefore, channel your attention into seeking union with your Christ self instead of union with another person.
My point is that the addiction to sex can spring from a true desire, namely the desire for inner wholeness, yet by seeking it through sex, you will guarantee that the goal can never be achieved. No human being – nothing from this world – can replace your spiritual self. There are many substitutes that will cover over your sense of unwholeness. Yet there is no substitute that will truly give you wholeness. Therefore, seek first the kingdom of God . . .
Copyright © 2004 by Kim Michaels