Question: I do most of the housework, and my husband tries to help me when I tell him. But he thinks I am the main person in the household. My parents showed a more severe imbalance, and I often dealt with it emotionally. I know this is a judgmental eye of mine that wants to make the other person’s ego perfect, but I think it contains a patriarchal problem that has persisted in Korea for a long time. This time we talked and decided on each other’s roles, and I tried to process my emotions as much as possible, but I feel like I became somewhat emotional. Since then, I keep thinking that this is my ego’s frame of judgment, and I should have focused on breaking it. I would like to get a multifaceted perspective on this matter. Please give me some advice.
Answer from the Ascended Master Mother Mary through Kim Michaels. This answer was given during the 2025 Korea Conference.
When you look at Korean society as we have talked about before, it is clear that the role of men and women will be changing, gradually over time, but not a long period of time, because many young people are not willing to play these roles, neither men nor women. Naturally, these roles will be softened up. Now, the question is, who, in a relationship, is willing or capable of changing? Often it is the woman who is willing to change, partly because they carry the biggest burden, partly because they are more open to personal and spiritual growth. If you have already had a conversation with your husband, then you need to look at yourself and your reaction. I am not saying that your husband does not need to change, but I am saying that you, as the woman who is more open to change, need to look at yourself, your own reactions.
We have given the tools of how to expose the subconscious selves and let them die. If you can use this situation to look at your view of what it means to be a woman, your view of what it means to be a man, and work on your emotional reactionary patterns to this that may indeed come from many past lifetimes, then you can make spiritual progress. What will happen when you do, is that you will begin to see something about the situation that you cannot see right now, because the selves that are causing you to act are blocking your vision.
This means you can now get a stronger intuition for what could potentially change in the environment, in the relationship. That means you can now have a talk with your husband that is at a higher level than what you are capable of having right now. This may mean that your husband will then be able to respond more positively, and therefore, perhaps change. Now, it is possible that your husband will choose not to change, and then you need to make the decision of whether you will live with that, or whether you will consider leaving the relationship.
But again, as you overcome the reactionary patterns in yourself, you can make a more neutral decision about this that is guided by your intuition, and not your outer mind and these reactionary selves. I know, it is not much comfort that you are the one who has to change, but the reality in most relationships is that the woman is the one who is more open to change. Therefore, if change is going to happen, who is going to drive it? The one who is more open to change, or the one who is more closed?
Therefore, you can simply realize that if the relationship is going to change, you are the one who is going to have to drive the change. That starts with changing yourself.
Copyright © 2025 Kim Michaels