Question: I am in a close relationship with a narcissist. It took me a long time to see through the schemes of that person. Now I can see what that person is doing and how her mind works. But I have a tendency to slip back and treat that person as a normal, reasonable human being. I can see I have a self that does not want to accept reality, and it projects an image on that person. I used to project an image on reality in general and on some other people in my life. Thanks to the teachings I gradually let it go, and I am now able to see more clearly and face the reality of life on earth without creating another dualistic image and self to deal with it. But for some reason it is much more difficult with that person to let go of the image of that person. I think that there is still something in me that I do not want to change. I need that person to be what I want her to be. But I do not see what it is. I know it is crucial for me to cut all ties with that person. Mother Mary, could you give some perspective on it?
Answer from the Ascended Master Mother Mary through Kim Michaels. This answer was given during the 2024 New Year webinar
Well, you can of course use the tools we have given to come to see the subconscious self. Because obviously what you have here is a subconscious self that was created in past lives relating to your primal self.
Many avatars who came to earth were exposed to a particular fallen being in their first, or one of their first embodiments, as described in the book about My Lives. Based on interaction with that fallen being you created either the primal self or at least some of these subsequent selves. And they are not necessarily attached to a specific person but to a person who represents what you created in that self. If you will look more deeply at this, you can ask yourself the question: “What advantage do I get out of remaining attached to this person? What advantage do I get from this self that will not let me let go of this person?” And with “advantage”, I specifically mean what does it do for you in terms of upholding a particular self-image that you have?
As we have explained, avatars who came to earth, they had a certain self-image of what you were going to do here on earth. Then this image was brought into doubt when you received the birth trauma. But many of us have spent a very long time trying to recreate or validate that image so it seemed like we were right after all. And this is what gives us, in general, these very strong attachments to people or situations or certain outcomes.
Attempt to attack the problem or look at the problem from this angle: “What self-image do I have that this person and my relationship to this person is actually, in some sense, validating or at least playing into?” And if you can uncover what your self-image is and see that it is a limiting self-image and let it go, then you will also be able to let go of your attachment to that person.
Copyright © 2024 Kim Michaels