To marry or not to marry 

Question: At the webinar dedicated to women, it was said that not all women who are now in incarnation need to marry and have a family and children. Beloved Mother Mary, how do I know if I belong to these women or not? And is it possible to change my divine plan, and not be a single woman anymore? Many women seek out a partner all their lives, but fail to meet the one. What psychological block is associated with a strong desire of a woman to meet her mate and yet all her attempts are unsuccessful. What should she do in this case?

Answer from the Ascended Master Mother Mary through Kim Michaels. This answer was given during the 2021 Webinar for Russia – Overcoming the Consciousness of Superiority and the Sense of Being Unwhole, Traumatized and Focused Outside Oneself.

Well, it is, of course, highly individual, whether you are one of the women who are meant to marry or not, and it is something that you can only know by tuning into your divine plan.

What you can do is, of course, look at your attitude to relationships. And given what you describe in the question, I would say that many women have an unrealistic expectation of what a relationship should be, or shouldn’t be. If you think for example, that there is only one person that you can have a relationship with, then you are making it much more difficult for you to be in a relationship and to find a partner.

I therefore advise that people shift their consciousness so they realize that the purpose of a relationship is growth. And you grow by being together with a person who is different from you, has a different perspective so you get a frame of reference on yourself and the things you do not see in yourself. If you approach a relationship based on the desire to grow, rather than some idealistic view of having an ideal or perfect relationship, it will be easier for you to find a partner.

You can of course, also look at your attitude to the opposite sex, whether you are a man or a woman and see what kind of patterns you may have. Do you have a distrust of the opposite sex? Do you have a specific view of what men or women will typically do to you? Are there certain ways you look at relationships, and you look at the people you know, and their relationships, and you judge them a certain way? And this can give you an idea of what selves you have created in past lives in relation to your view of the opposite sex. This can then give you the opportunity to use our tools to resolve these selves, to resolve these traumas.

There is no question that many people have had very difficult relationships in past lives that have been very traumatic. And so, you could have been exposed to trauma as a result of relationships. For some people, it was even a relationship that caused the cosmic birth trauma that you received after coming to earth for the first time. And so there can be some very deep patterns that makes it difficult for you to open yourself and trust in a relationship.

And you can use the tools we have given to gain more clarity of this, and work on this and resolve them. But you can also look at whether you feel a certain force or compulsion that you should be in a relationship, that you shouldn’t live alone. And then you can consider why that is. Is it something that comes from selves? Is it something that comes from the collective consciousness, where you are being pressured, that you should be in a relationship, otherwise you are strange and unusual?

And then you can deal with that and realize that you of course have a right to not be in a relationship, you can strive to come to a point where there is no tension associated with being in a relationship or not being in a relationship. In some cases, this can be what allows you to find a partner and be in a relationship.

You will notice, for example, that there are many women who find it very difficult to become pregnant, they go into a state of trying all kinds of things in order to get pregnant. And then they finally give up and relax and now they become pregnant, because they are not in the state of tension about it.

The best advice I can give you is to strive to attain a state of peace, where you are at peace if you are not in a relationship, but you can also be at peace about being in a relationship, because you don’t project any unrealistic expectations upon it, that might set you up to be disappointed.


Copyright © 2021 Kim Michaels