The story of an avatar: nightmares, the birth trauma and the consciousness of hell 

Question: When I found the spiritual path, and the teachings on non-duality, I started having nightmares. I sensed that there is an evil presence in my bedroom, and it wants to hurt me and I woke up terrified. When I found ascended master teachings and when I met my present husband, who is a great spiritual help for me in my spiritual path, the nightmares became even worse. I woke up in the middle of the night seeing the ugly creatures, like straight from the astral plane crawling around my bed, and I would see an ominous man standing above my bed and staring at me. And I have had one particular nightmare, which has been terrifying. So I wake up from a dream which I cannot remember, and it fades away. But I have a sense that I have forgotten about something very important. And now it is too late. I cannot fix it. And it has an effect on many, many people, and I feel completely destroyed emotionally, and I feel unbearable pain. And I always wake up from this dream crying and screaming. I did a lot of spiritual work to resolve the issue and the nightmares with the astral creatures ended. But whenever I am upset about something, especially something about my relationship, the nightmare, with the sense that I did something so bad comes back. Could the masters comment on it and give a higher perspective on this kind of nightmare or attacks of dark forces and how to deal with that.

Answer from the Ascended Master Mother Mary through Kim Michaels. This answer was given during the 2021 Webinar – Moving Toward Golden Age Relationships.

You need to recognize that we have told you that when you descend to earth as an avatar, you have a higher state of consciousness before you descend to earth. But in order to descend, you need to descend to what is currently the 48th level of consciousness on earth. Which is much lower than the consciousness you have as an avatar. What does this mean? It means there is something you will forget. There is a forgetting, when you come into embodiment for the first time as an avatar, just as I said in my previous dictation, that every time you come into embodiment, you are forgetting with the outer mind what you put in your divine plan.

For all of us who have ever embodied on a dense planet like earth, there is something we have forgotten. And in many cases, we can have this, (at least when we begin to rise higher in consciousness), we can have this intuitive sense that there is something we have forgotten. Now we go to the birth trauma that you receive. You take the book My Lives, and you see how the protagonist was exposed to this birth trauma by the fallen beings, where he was made to believe that his actions caused the downfall of a civilization and the death of millions of people. Well, many, many avatars who came to earth have been exposed to something very similar. It has been projected at you by the fallen beings, that you made this terrible mistake that affected many people and that you should feel guilty about it.

How do you even deal with this? Well, for many, many embodiments, you deal with it from a state of shock. But you need to realize that as you rise higher on the path, especially when it is your last embodiment, you need to resolve this. You start having more of an intuitive sense, you now get in touch with the fact that there is something you have forgotten. You get in touch with this sense that you have done something that had terrible consequences. And you connect the two. You think the reason why I did this terrible thing is because I had forgotten this thing that I was supposed to not have forgotten.

But what have I just said? Forgetting is part of the mechanics of taking embodiment on a dense planet, you did nothing wrong by forgetting, it was inevitable. You reacted to the situation of the birth trauma with the level of consciousness you had, most likely the 48 level. And therefore, you took on that sense of guilt, that sense of blame, which the fallen beings projected at you, even though you were not actually responsible for what they blamed you for. We all have done this as avatars. You have to find a way to deal with this, to see the fallacy, to see the lies. And to come to a point where it is not so much that you need to forgive yourself. It is simply that you need to recognize that you reacted the way you did based on the consciousness you had at the time. And this created certain separate selves. And you need to keep using the tools until you uncover those selves and can let them go, finally and fully.

Now, what has this got to do with nightmares? Well, it is partly, again, that there is a period on the spiritual path where you have not resolved certain important things. There is a tension in your consciousness, in your subconscious actually. This tension makes you vulnerable to the projection and the attacks of dark forces. They, of course, as we have said, target you when you are an avatar, or when you are in your last embodiment, they will target you very aggressively.

And they can do this when you have this sense that you have done something terrible. Or even a sense that you have forgotten something you should not have forgotten. In other words, you are in effect, blaming yourself. You are blaming yourself for something that you did not do. But it does not matter because there is a self that is blaming you and that self makes you vulnerable to this very old consciousness that really is the consciousness of hell, but it is the consciousness about hell: the projections, the images of hell, where you can even see paintings from the medieval period, where you see these distorted creatures that are torturing souls in Purgatory or in hell itself.

You need to recognize if you have grown up in a culture with a particular religion that promotes this view of hell and purgatory. And you need to recognize that, combined with what you have taken on and how you are blaming yourself, there is some self, there are several selves, that are either afraid that you will go to hell because of what you did, or even feel that you deserve to go to hell, or at least be tortured. Because there is this consciousness again, that if you go into purgatory and suffer, then maybe you can be cleansed from your sins.

This is, as we have attempted to explain many times, a complete illusion, has no reality to it whatsoever. No amount of suffering and torture can compensate for what you did. You need to dissolve, transform the energy and overcome the separate selves, and then you are free. But there is this consciousness, even the entire consciousness, that Christ died on the cross for your sins, and that he had to be tortured, and his blood had to be spilled, as payment for the sins of humanity. Again, a complete lie created by the fallen beings.

But if you have these beliefs in you, then it can make you vulnerable to the astral plane and you can see these creatures. And you can see this ominous presence who is really like the judge, or the man, the death figure, that is found in so many places, that has come to collect you and take you to hell. You need to look at this, work on these selves, until you come to the point where you simply see the unreality of it. And then you can gradually let go of it, until you have let go of all of it. And you really can accept that God’s love is unconditional. And that all this judgmental attitude is a grand illusion created by the fallen beings.


Copyright © 2021 Kim Michaels