Question: I do not get along with my biological mom. She cannot stand an avatar’s light. I have worked hard to resolve my psychology so that I become immune and transparent to her attacks on my energy field. But this is an area I struggle with. I would appreciate any advice you have.
Kim: There is more to the question, but I’ll let Mother Mary comment on this.
Answer from the Ascended Master Mother Mary through Kim Michaels. This answer was given during the 2026 Kazakhstan Conference.
What you need to recognize here is that you have done sincere work. You have made progress. But there is still something you do not see in yourself, and that is what causes you to react. As we have explained many times, overcoming the subconscious selves is a process, a gradual process. It can often be a somewhat long process because there are different selves that hide other selves. You need to resolve certain selves first before you can get to the ones that are hidden behind the other selves. You need to just look at this process and say that as long as you have a reaction to any person that is important in your life, there is something in yourself you have not resolved.
There is some self you have not seen yet. And what you can do to help you see this self is you can decide to try to look at the situation from a different angle, a different perspective. You can, for example, ask yourself, well, you can sit down, maybe give some decrees first, then have a blank piece of paper, and then ask yourself, what are the questions I have not yet asked myself about this situation? And then you spontaneously write whatever comes to you. And then you see if that points towards certain subconscious selves that you need to resolve, then you use the tools and the teachings we have given in Healing Your Spiritual Traumas and other books to seek to resolve that self. Basically, when you have a person in your life, whether it is your mother or somebody else, who causes you to react a lot, it is because you have chosen your Divine Plan to put yourself in proximity with that person because you want to, so to speak, force yourself to deal with these psychological issues that you have not resolved in past lifetimes.
You need to switch and realize that this is by your choice, by your design, and it is a great opportunity to grow. Because if you can overcome the selves, you have that cause you to react to this person, you will have made very significant progress on your spiritual path.
I have also made mistakes and made karma when interacting with her. Is invoking the violet flame the best way to balance the karma?
No, the best way to balance karma is to resolve psychology because what you do when you react to a person is you are qualifying energy of a lower vibration. And invoking the violet flame can help you transmute that lower energy, but even if you transmuted all of it, if you do not overcome the separate self that caused you to react, you will just react again and produce more energy. And there are people in previous ascended master dispensations who have used the violet flame this way. They have made certain karma, misqualified energy, they have given violet flame, very concentrated for some time to transmute it all.
But because they did not look at the psychology, they just created new karma, created new unbalanced energy. They have to start all over again. And there simply comes a point where St. Germain has to say, I am actually enabling this person to not deal with his or her psychology and therefore, I can no longer multiply the violet flame decrees that this person is giving.
Then finally, also in order to qualify for my ascension whenever that happens, do I need to be completely non-attached and non-reactive to anything my biological mom says or does? Thank you, Mother Mary. I know you would never attack my light.
Well, the short and brutal answer is that in order to ascend, you need to have no reactions to anything on earth. That is the story of Gautama Buddha under the bow tree and also Jesus hanging on the cross and giving up the last ghost, which was the last separate self. Yes, to be brutally honest, you have to give up everything in order to ascend. Now there is a modification in the sense that you can still have some unresolved psychology that you can work on after you leave the body.
But when you are talking about a reactionary pattern to other people, it is most constructive to assume that yes, you have to give up all of it and you put yourself in a relationship with that person precisely to force yourself to overcome it. Now in terms of I would never attack your light, you are of course completely correct. I would not because I am ascended. I am not threatened by your light at all. But you have to also consider whether you somehow have gotten yourself into this state of mind that the reason your mother is doing what she is doing to you is because she is attacking your light.
It could be that at least some of your mother’s reactions to you is of course because she has a separate self, but that separate self in her is reacting to a separate self in you. It is not necessarily only your light she is reacting to. It could also be a separate self that you have not yet seen. And you need to at least be open to that possibility in order to see the self. And that is why again, as I said, try to look at the situation from a different angle that you have not looked at it before and ask yourself the questions that you have not asked so far.
And then I will help you gain clarity of this if you ask me for my help.
Copyright © 2026 Kim Michaels