Rising above relationships that are based on sexual attraction

TOPICS: People will use even a spiritual teaching to justify the desire for sex – marriage a voluntary commitment to pure relationship – private ceremony – reasons to have sex only in a committed relationship – why sex can be purely mechanical – why intentions are important – avoid attachment in relationship – reasons to marry – testing your attachment to sexual desire – do not let sexual attraction prevent you from finding your spiritual partner –

Question 1: The Bible condemns sex outside of marriage. Is this correct in your eyes? I am not saying that it is right to sleep around. I am talking about two people who love each other and want to commit their bodies to each other. The Bible says that two people should be married before God – but since God is everywhere, including within us, why can the fact that two people who have made a commitment to each other not be enough to be viewed as a marriage?

Question 2: I have read the answer on sex outside marriage and the understanding I get seems to relate to breaking the marriage vow. How about sex with one partner without being married? In search of Truth and Higher Understanding, 

Answer from ascended master Jesus through Kim Michaels:

If you study the teachings I have given concerning sex and marriage, you will see that I have already answered this question. Nevertheless, let me give a few thoughts to ponder.

Thought 1
Let us begin by recognizing that sex is one of the strongest drives in the human desire body. There is almost no limit to how far people will go in order to justify their desire for sex. Unfortunately, this is equally true of many religious and spiritually aware people. They are quick to use even a spiritual teaching to justify their desire for sex.

This has indeed led some people to use the beautiful discourse by my Mother, in which she explains that I was conceived out of wedlock, in their attempts to seduce others. They do this by arguing that if Mother Mary and Joseph could have sex outside of marriage, so can they. Such misuse of a spiritual teaching demonstrates that these people are strongly influenced by or possessed by dark spirits. My point is that almost no matter what I could say about sex outside of marriage, some people would misuse it.

Nevertheless, let me give some thoughts that are tailored specifically for people who consider themselves to be on the spiritual path and are dedicated to making maximum spiritual progress.

Thought 2
Let us begin by considering how to define marriage? The official definition would be that people have been married by an outer institution, such as a church or civil authority. Yet as the current state of affairs in most western nations demonstrate, such a marriage often is no better than the piece of paper upon which it is written.

Therefore, I would like to propose a spiritual definition of marriage, namely as a voluntary commitment into which a man and a woman engage in order to keep their relationship, including their sexual relationship, as pure and as spiritual as possible. This means that the two people make a commitment to keeping their relationship pure according to their current understanding and spiritual awareness. And at the same time, they make a commitment to continually help each other expand their spiritual awareness.

According to this definition, I was not conceived or born out of wedlock because my parents had indeed made such a spiritual commitment. I strongly encourage all people who are on the spiritual path to make such a commitment before they engage in sexual activity. You can do this in a private ceremony, in which you promise God, in the form that you can currently recognize as God, to be faithful to each other both sexually and spiritually, to keep your relationship pure and to help each other grow in spiritual awareness. You might use any marriage ritual you find appealing, or you may make a simple promise in your own words. You may do any ceremony you wish, but make it a sincere commitment.

Thought 3
Am I hereby saying that I encourage people to abstain from sex until they are ready to make a commitment to each other and to the ongoing nature of their relationship? That is exactly what I am saying, and I do so with good reason.

There is a very unfortunate attitude in much of the western world today that sex is an activity that can be engaged in without any negative consequences whatsoever (as long as pregnancy is avoided). Many people look at sex as being no more serious than having dinner or watching a movie. This is not true, even though given the current state of movies and the type of food eaten by many people, dinner and a movie can also be risky activities.

As I have explained in other comments, sex is an activity that inevitably opens up your energy field to receiving energy from your partner and even from outside forces. Let me tell you that in western civilization there is an entire horde of dark forces who are constantly seeking to inflate people’s desire for sex. They have managed to use advertising, the media, the educational systems and the entertainment industry to grossly over inflate people’s desire bodies. Many people have the impression that there is something wrong with them if they are not constantly having sex or if they are not having as much sex as their peers. This has created an enormous pressure upon many people that causes them to engage in sexual activities without having any kind of commitment.

The all-important factor here is the intent with which you engage in sex. If it is done purely to satisfy your physical or emotional desires, meaning that it is done purely for egotistical reasons, then sex will inevitably open you up to imperfect energies and even dark spirits. They will invade your energy field during sexual intercourse, and they will bring with them various types of energies, feelings and desires that will set you up for giving them their next fix.

By only engaging in sex in a committed relationship, you can greatly reduce the risk of having your sexual relationship polluted by such forces (especially if you also invoke spiritual protection). However, making a commitment once is not enough. You must have a firm commitment to keeping your relationship pure, and you must understand that in order to do so, you must resist the programming that seeks to inflate your sexual desires beyond what is spiritually healthy. In other words, you must decide whether spiritual growth or sexual pleasure is more important to you and to your relationship.

Thought 4
Before the fall of human beings, human lifestreams inhabited bodies that were not as dense as the physical bodies you wear today. These light bodies, or energy bodies, did not have sexual organs. They were androgynous, although with some differences depending on whether the lifestream was mainly male or female. How did such bodies procreate? Lifestreams did so by entering into a spiritual union that is far more gratifying than the highest sexual pleasure known on earth. Through this spiritual union, two lifestreams that were in perfect harmony, and vibrated in perfect resonance, could indeed create another light body that would appear in the form of a young child.

When human lifestreams fell, they were no longer able to enter into this higher spiritual union. Instead, they entered into denser physical bodies that could procreate only through physical intercourse. This has reduced procreation to a purely mechanical process that can be engaged in with no deeper spiritual union whatsoever. This has made it possible that the union between a male and female lifestream can be reduced to the animal level and be exploited for commercial gain or be exploited by dark forces to steal people’s spiritual light.

Thought 5
The intent with which you engage in sexual intercourse is in direct proportion to the degree of spiritual protection that you can establish around your union. God the Creator is the only being that can create new life out of itself. God first created two beings, Alpha and Omega, and in order to create other lifestreams, Alpha and Omega must engage in spiritual union. So must all beings in the spiritual realm. The fact that new life on earth can be created only through a physical union is a reminder of the spiritual law that for new life to be created, two lifestreams of the opposite sex must come together.

The higher the degree of selflessness with which both parties engage in the physical union, the higher the degree of spiritual protection. I am not hereby saying that sexual intercourse should only be engaged in to create children. It is legitimate, at least at the lower stages of a lifestream’s spiritual path, that people have intercourse for the purpose of establishing a greater spiritual union between a man and woman. If done for selfless purposes, this can indeed further the spiritual growth of both parties.

One can engage in protected sex only by exercising self-discipline and walking the spiritual path. One must purify the desire body and emotional body of all artificial sexual desires. One must be committed to spiritual growth and see personal Christhood as far more important than temporary sexual pleasure. If these goals are met, it is possible for two people to reach a much higher degree of spiritual union than most people on earth could even dream about.

Thought 6
That being said, let me caution that any activity on earth, and I mean any activity, can become a trap that at some point begins to hinder, rather than help, your spiritual growth. There are those who believe that sex, such as tantric sex, can be a shortcut to spiritual growth. First of all, there are no shortcuts to spiritual growth. There are those who seek to take heaven by force, but they will not be successful, as described in my parable about the person who entered the wedding feast without a wedding garment.

As I said, sexual intercourse done for purely selfless purposes can help your spiritual progress. By attaining spiritual union with another person, you can make it easier to reach beyond the lower self and obtain union with your Christ self. Yet there will inevitably come a point where you need to realize that no matter how gratifying a sexual relationship might be, you need to move beyond the point where you need another person in order to have spiritual experiences.

You need to go to the kingdom of God that is within you and become spiritually self-sufficient instead of relying on anything or anyone on earth, be it your sexual partner or a religion. If you do become attached to a partner or religion, then that relationship will take you away from your Christhood. In other words, at a certain level of your personal path a pure sexual relationship can help your growth, but when you reach a certain level, you must overcome all attachment to that relationship in order to climb higher. If you do become attached, you will either stay at that level or begin to slide backward. I am not saying that you necessarily need to abandon the relationship. I am saying you need to abandon any attachments.

Thought 7
If you have the intention of engaging in a committed relationship with your partner, and if you do live in a religious culture, why not go through the outer ritual of marriage? It serves the practical function of letting other people in your community know that both of you are “off the market.” In my Sermon on the Mount, I made it clear that it was not enough to abstain from sleeping with another person’s spouse; you also need to overcome the desire to do so. The reason is that by desiring another person’s spouse, you will indeed send psychic energy at that person, and this can negatively affect the relationship.

Therefore, by making a commitment in front of your community, you are reducing the amount of energy directed at your relationship from other people. Finally, if you are fortunate enough to be married by a priest who has some degree of the Holy Spirit, his or her blessing may indeed place a sphere of protective energy around your relationship. Obviously, such protection will not last forever unless it is maintained by you and your spouse.

Thought 8
What about people who are already living together and have engaged in sex but have not yet made a commitment? Well, if you are committed to spiritual growth, perform the following exercise of prayer and fasting. Abstain from sex for 33 days while daily giving a spiritual ritual together, such as Archangel Michael’s Rosary and /or one of Mother Mary’s rosaries. Then perform a marriage ceremony.

What about people wondering if their relationship is pure and not driven by sexual desires? The test is simple. Attachment to sex shows an impure desire body. To put this to the test, decide to do the exercise I just described.

Thought 9
If you are a truly spiritual person, you will have planned your life before coming into embodiment. This most likely included planning which spouse to marry, and the spouse was selected to give you maximum spiritual growth.

When you come into embodiment, you forget this plan, and in the West many people even forget about the spiritual path. The dark forces will often seek to derail your spiritual plan, and one way is to prevent you from finding the planned spouse. This can be done by tempting you, as I was tempted after my time in the wilderness and on many other occasions. Dark forces can do this by sending you a person to whom you feel a strong sexual attraction. If you engage in a relationship, it can easily prevent you from meeting your spiritual partner—perhaps for a lifetime.

Therefore, if you know you are a spiritual seeker, you should consider never having any relationship that is based exclusively or primarily on sexual attraction. To achieve this, make it a personal rule that you never engage in sex before marriage, be it a formal or private marriage. Also consider that when you meet a person who seems sexually attractive, it it good to take time to wait for the spiritual partner who is hidden around the corner. You will be amazed at how resisting sexual temptation can open the door that brings your spiritual partner into your life. Prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.


Copyright © 2004 by Kim Michaels