How to deal with obsessive compulsive attraction to another person

Question: I have recently attracted to myself a person who has severe issues relating to mental health. She suffers from physical health problems also. In addition to this she is seeking refuge away from her terribly abusive family and ex-partner. We have talked every day for over three months and we have both fallen in love with each other quickly while she is staying at the refuge. Although she suffers from a lot of difficult conditions, I love her very much and want the best for her. However, she strongly rejects any offering of help I give to her. I mostly just listen to her problems. She recently discovered a lump in her breast and we were both scared about it due to the potential of it being cancerous. Not being able to physically visit her, I often feel useless. My question is, why did I have to fall in love for the first time with someone who seems to be extremely damaged in all four of her lower bodies? Is there a lesson for me in this experience, we are both 21 years old.

Answer from the Ascended Master Mother Mary through Kim Michaels. This answer was given during the 2021 Webinar – Ending the Era of Ideology.

Well, in most cases where you have this kind of a relationship, you will be able to recognize that there is a certain obsessive compulsive element of it. This is a sign that there is karma involved. In other words, you have karma from past lives, and this is why you feel this attraction that happened so quickly, that it is not really the normal way that you fall in love with people. You can see this in many relationships that start very quickly. Whether they are physical or not, that there is this almost obsessive compulsive attraction. This is a sign that there is karma.

Now, the attraction is because either one or both parties have a strong desire to balance the karma and move on from it. But the big question that people could benefit from asking is whether a physical relationship is the only or even the best way to balance the karma.

I know that in most cases, people are not able to ask this question because of the obsessive compulsive character of the relationship. They think it simply has to be and it has to be a physical relationship because people are so programmed in the current culture to always think that when there is an attraction, there should ideally be a physical relationship. This, of course, is not the case and from a purely spiritual perspective, there are many cases where it would be better to avoid having a physical relationship, because that prevents one or both parties from making more karma.

You see many, many times where people feel this strong attraction, they rush into a physical relationship and after a certain period of elation, the honeymoon is over, and now the two parties find it very difficult to get along with each other. Therefore, they actually start making more karma, instead of overcoming their karma.

If you are able to do this, it is better, more constructive for your spiritual growth to step back and look at yourself and your psychology involved. Try to get behind the surface attraction and find out, how do you look at the relationship? What are the dynamics that you can see in this relationship? Do you feel a certain desire to save this person, to help this person? But are you actually able to do so given that person’s psychology and for example, their refusal to get help?

Based on this, you could study your own psychology. Simply put aside the psychology of the other person, look at your own psychology and say: “What is my reaction? What is the dynamic I recognize here? Can I see any drama in my own mind relating to how I look at this relationship? And how could I benefit from overcoming this? How could it advance my personal growth and consciousness if I overcame this?”

Then you can realize that the psychology that you have has nothing to do with the other person or the relationship, it is something in your mind that was triggered by the relationship to the other person. But this does not mean that you have to have a physical relationship in order to overcome that in your own psychology. You can do this without having a physical relationship, you can do it at a distance. And in fact, in many cases, it is far better not to have a physical relationship because once you are involved in a relationship, it pulls you in to these reactionary patterns, intensifies them and makes it more difficult for you to see it.


Copyright © 2021 Kim Michaels