Friendship and family

Question: Beloved Mother Mary, why there are very often family members with whom we incarnate and they are practically strangers to us. And there is nothing in common with them. For example, a person may have many or several brothers and sisters, but at the same time, it is impossible to establish friendly relations with them. For some time, friendship was only in childhood and after growing up it disappeared. Or that children have an age difference of more than 14 years, and the parents want their children to get along with each other. But this does not happen. And each of them grows up alone. How do you make friends in adulthood if you’re not able to make friends with blood relatives.

Answer from the Ascended Master Mother Mary through Kim Michaels. This answer was given during the 2021 Webinar for Russia – Overcoming the consciousness of Superiority and the Sense of Being Unwhole, Traumatized and Focused Outside Oneself.

We have given various teachings before, that in many families, it is the same people who reincarnate again and again, over different generations. The reason for this is that they have certain karmic patterns with themselves, meaning they have created these spirals in the past of conflict and the only way for them to have a chance to work it out is to reincarnate together again and again.

The problem with this is, of course, that their psychology has not changed from the last embodiment. But they might even have built a stronger momentum of animosity. This makes it very difficult for them to communicate or to be friends. It is still, for many people who are in the school of hard knocks, the only way to give them a chance to progress, because they need to go to a point where they have had enough of this and desire something else.

You do see in certain families where some of the family members are engaged in a specific pattern, but one of the children manages to stay out of it, refuses to go into it and they separate themselves from their family as soon as they can. This will in many cases mean that that person can then reincarnate outside of that group in their next lifetime. This can give progress.

It is of course correct that if you cannot make friends with your family members in childhood, it may be more difficult as an adult. This is really up to you to shift your attitude. You have an opportunity to find people that you resonate with. When you are incarnated in a family, you cannot get away from your family members but when you choose your friends as an adult, you can seek out people that you have something in common with.

The real key to escaping these karmic patterns is to work on your own psychology and to not want to change your family members but to focus on changing yourself. Then asking yourself: “What does the fact that I incarnated in this family show about what I need to resolve in my own psychology?” The wisest thing in a family that is dysfunctional or has inharmony or has some patterns is to make a deliberate decision not to focus on changing your family members. Instead to focus on changing yourself so you no longer react to your family members. You are psychologically free of them.


Copyright © 2021 Kim Michaels