Dealing with karmic attractions

TOPICS: Karma with others and karma with yourself – karma can be balanced faster without a physical relationship – many have delayed their growth by rushing into a relationship – use spiritual tools to balance karma – your ego’s excuses for not looking at yourself – your growth cannot be limited by another person’s psychology – focus on learning your own lessons – seek the kingdom within YOU –

Question: I read on one of the websites that we often find people attractive physically, or emotionally, or spiritually or intellectually because we have perhaps karma to balance with that person. Can a person who very rarely feels a level of attraction sufficient to enter into a relationship with someone reasonably assume they have balanced all of their karma, or might they just be really picky?

Answer from ascended master Mother Mary through Kim Michaels:

It is indeed possible to have balanced the karma you have with other people. But this does not necessarily mean that you have balanced all of your karma. For you should know the reality that the first 51 percent of your karma is the karma you have with other people. But the last 49 percent is the karma you have with yourself.

For did not Christ say, “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you?” Well, does it not work both ways? Do unto yourself as well, treat yourself the way you would treat others. And I must tell you that there are some of you who treat yourself far worse than you would ever treat another. You are much more critical of yourself than you are of other people. And this is how you make karma with yourself.

I would caution you also, that a physical attraction is not always caused by karma—or an emotional, spiritual attraction. For there are indeed some times where you meet another because it is part of your divine plan to be with that person.

What I will say about karmic relationships is that there are many cases – in fact the vast majority of karmic relationships – where the karma can be balanced faster by not having a physical relationship than by rushing into a relationship based on a karmic attraction. And then, as soon as the honeymoon is over, finding out that despite being in love with that person, the karma has not been balanced. And now that you are in a more committed relationship, you cannot simply run away from the karma.

I encourage you – you who are the more mature spiritual people – when you feel a physical attraction to another person, go slowly before you establish an actual relationship. Be willing to give the rosaries on Forgiveness and Rising above the Past, putting your past karma with that person into the violet flame,  so that you can balance as much of it as possible. And then be open to your inner direction to see whether you actually need to have a physical relationship or not.

I can tell you that there are many, many spiritual people who have delayed their progress on the spiritual path by rushing into a relationship based on a karmic attraction, and then ending up making more karma rather than balancing the karma, as was meant to be.

In order to balance karma, you must – as we have said many times – be willing to look for the beam in your own eye. And what often happens in a karmic relationship is that you become so focused on the splinter in the eye of your partner that you either forget about the beam in your own eye or refuse to look at it, allowing your ego to create the excuse that you cannot possibly do so, or that you do not need to do so, until the other person has changed. For your ego will always say that the fault lies with the other person.

But I must tell you the reality that your spiritual progress can never, ever be limited by another person’s psychology or behavior. Your personal progress can be limited only by YOUR psychology and behavior. And therefore, your progress on the spiritual path does not in any way, does not ever – and I mean EVER – depend on another person changing. It only depends on your own willingness to change.

Go for that change. If you find yourself in a difficult relationship, follow the eternal advice of Jesus—seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, meaning seek first to overcome the beam in your own eye and raise your own consciousness. And then all other things will be added unto you, meaning that either your partner and your relationship will change or you will change your partner and find a new relationship, perhaps even an inner relationship with your own higher Being—being content and at peace in that state.

When you always seek to change yourself, you will always grow. And it does not matter to you whether the other person grows or not. For that is a matter of their free will. Whereas if you allow yourself to believe that your progress depends on your partner, well then you make your partner your God. And then you put that false god before the true God.

For where is the true God? Well, the true God is in his kingdom. And where is that kingdom? It is within you—not within your partner. For, my beloved, YOUR kingdom of God is within YOU. Other people’s kingdom is within them. And that is why you can find it independently of anyone else.


Copyright © 2007 by Kim Michaels