Question: Beloved Mother Mary, I have been stuck for a long time in a separate self’s trauma reaction as a new situation triggers this self’s fear of being hurt again by my husband with betrayal as happened ten years ago. My fear-based reaction triggers a negative reaction back at me with verbal threats of rejection and abandonment and other forms of emotional abuse. As it escalates the self’s fear of feeling unloved and insecure, it leads to panic attacks and me begging for love and promises of security. I feel so bad and unworthy needing security from the abuser. This drains my energy and often it takes days to recover in all four bodies. Do I need to resolve the trauma before I can let this self die? It seems as these triggering situations come in cycles, I really want to be free from this pattern and have peace of mind in my life.
Answer from the Ascended Master Mother Mary through Kim Michaels. This answer was given during the 2024 Easter webinar
Do you need to resolve the trauma before you can let the self die? Do you need to resolve the self before you can resolve the trauma? Well, they are so intertwined that you cannot really ask the question like that. The trauma has partly an energetic component, which is energy misqualified in this lifetime and past lifetimes. This is what gives you the emotional pain. In many cases you need to resolve that pain by using the decrees and invocations before you can reduce it so much that you can actually look at the underlying beliefs that make up the selves that you are dealing with. From that perspective you need to resolve the energy before you can look at the trauma. But you cannot really overcome the trauma until you let the self-die because it is the very basis for the trauma. It was created as a reaction to the original trauma and this of course goes beyond your current lifetime.
We have given all the teachings and tools starting with healing your spiritual traumas that you can use. If this does not do it for you, I suggest you recognize that what you are describing here is the classical definition of a codependent relationship. And there is a significant amount of literature from the psychological profession and others about codependent relationships. There are therapists who are specialized in dealing with this. There are even in some cases support groups, even some support groups online. I suggest you seek out that and in fact I suggest you do both. Both work with our tools but also with the tools that are available out there. You seek what kind of groups you can find, if not a physical group, then an online group. And you avail yourself of what is there, try to find a therapist if that is possible for you. And then work on this, overcoming this codependency on a person who is abusing you.
Now this obviously always goes back to your unwillingness to take full responsibility for yourself and make your own decisions. By being in a codependent relationship that you feel you cannot get out of, then you are giving yourself an excuse for not taking command over your life, not taking responsibility for your practical life and also your growth. You also need to uncover those selves so that you can come to a point where you are not afraid to make your own decisions. And where you are willing to tune into your Divine Plan, tune into your Christ Self, your I AM Presence and the ascended masters you are working with and receive a different perspective that then allows you to make a more constructive decision about what to do about the physical relationship.
Copyright © 2024 Kim Michaels