About attachment to other people 

Question: For a long time, I’ve been trying to get rid of the spirits that are behind my attachment to the past, especially with the people I used to have relationships or to the ones who passed away, but I can’t let them go. I’ve sincerely been using the recommended tools and have been working with my psychology but I feel very little progress. Could you comment on what beliefs might be behind the reluctance to let go the people we used to have relationships with?

Answer from the Ascended Master Mother Mary through Kim Michaels. This answer was given at the 2020 Webinar- Being the Divine Mother.

This is a complicated question to answer because it is so individual what causes you to be attached to people. But we can talk about certain main groupings. In other words, the particular belief that you have as an individual can be very specific to you, but it falls within certain categories.

One category can be that you have a self that is dedicated to helping these other people. There are certain avatars who embodied with fallen beings when they first came to earth, and who formed a very strong desire to save that fallen being and get them on this positive path. For this kind of belief, I would recommend that you read the My Lives book where there is a description of how the protagonist went through an entire process of freeing himself from any attachment to Lucifer, the lifestream that is called Lucifer in the book.

You can also have an attachment to helping other avatars, to helping the original lifestreams on the earth. And here you need to start looking at free will. You need to start recognizing that other people have their free will and therefore you cannot save anybody else. You cannot change anybody else. This can be a difficult initiation to go through. This messenger spent years working on this until he realized that he had to let go of all desire to change other people. Because otherwise it would trap him on a merry-go-round for the rest of his life and perhaps even beyond.

You need to realize here that you have your individual free will and other people have their individual free will. You need to free your free will from the free will of other people. This is the only way you can make your free will truly free. You need to recognize here that if you are an ascended master student and if you’re sincere about qualifying for your ascension in this lifetime, you cannot be attached to other people who may not ascend after this lifetime. You have to therefore work on this, come to see these selves and let them die. If you still having attachment, there is obviously a self you have not seen, so you need to work on it until you see it, you need to continue to use the tools until you see it.

Another category is that you might have a self that has a desire to control other people. And therefore you will not let that other person go, because you feel you should have some control. This may again be from some seemingly benign purpose of helping that other person, but it is still a controlling self that wants to control or even own that other person. I am not saying this is the case for most spiritual people, but you can all have certain selves that were created a long time ago that you have not let go of. You need to be willing to look at this.

The basic fact is this: any attachment comes from a separate self. If you still have an attachment, you have a separate self you have not seen. Then use the tools we have given, contemplate the teachings, look at yourself, look at your beliefs. Why are you attached to these people, what you feel you should do, what you really feel should have happened or should not have happened. And continue to do this until you expose these subtle beliefs that you have that keeps you tied to other people. It all revolves around the fact that you think there is something you have to do here on earth.

As this messenger has described, when you resolve your birth trauma, your primal self and the other separate selves, you come to the point where you realize: there is nothing you have to do here on Earth. There is nothing you are forced to do; there is nothing you are compelled to do. You may still do things because you are the open door for your I AM Presence, but it does not come from a separate self.


Copyright © 2020 Kim Michaels