Question: My situation is that I have not long ago become a mother and I am raising my daughter as a single mom. Ever since the start of the pregnancy, I have felt burdened with heavy energy to such an intense degree that I felt that I had lost my attunement with you, my spiritual guides, altogether. I have worked hard to reestablish my connection, attunement, and I have made good progress. But the whole process of being pregnant, giving birth, and now raising my little girl on my own has been and is greatly challenging. What I do is try to see all of this as an opportunity to look at myself, identify patterns, and resolve my psychology as well as I know how.
But at times I feel greatly overwhelmed and do not know how exactly to handle some things. One particular outer situation that I find very hard to deal with is this. The relationship with my daughter’s father was emotionally and mentally abusive, and I terminated the relationship while I was still pregnant. Later I sought therapy because I needed help to understand what exactly I had been through in the relationship with this person. I had a strong feeling that I was dealing with a narcissist, and through therapy and also group therapy, I learned beyond doubt that he is indeed a narcissist. Now the situation is that this person has legal rights to have my daughter. I feel very strongly that it is not in my daughter’s best interest to be with her father. I am afraid that in the long term he will damage her psychological well-being. As a mother, I want to protect my daughter, and I feel so conflicted with this situation because there are so many people telling me just how important it is for a girl to have a father and that I am being selfish to not let him see her as much as he wants to. There are so many argumentations for and against this, and I really am at a point where I do not know what to do. My inner voice that at this point is basically screaming says that I have to keep my daughter safe and try to withhold her from her father as much as possible. But then I am concerned that if that which is screaming within me is my own unresolved psychology, and I really just need to raise my consciousness to receive a higher vision, then I would perhaps see things differently. May it be in my daughter’s Divine plan that she is raised by a narcissistic father? I can, by the love of God, not see how that would be constructive for her. What my inner guidance is telling me is that I have to shield my daughter from her father.
Am I wrong? Because I also know that much of what I am feeling about this situation springs from fear. I know I cannot have Christ’s discernment in being in fear. How can I know to trust my inner guidance?
Answer from the Ascended master Mother Mary through Kim Michaels. This answer was given during the 2023 Kazakhstan Conference.
Well, you are certainly not alone in being in this kind of a situation. Many, many people can recognize this pattern where you have a difficult outer situation and you are being pulled in two different directions. You are being told one thing by other people, you feel you have a certain inner guidance, but you are wondering if it is the right inner guidance. What we can start by saying in these situations is that whenever you have something in your mind that is ‘screaming at you’ as you describe it, then this is not really your inner guidance because what have we said many times? The inner guidance from your Christ self, from your I AM Presence, from the ascended masters is the still small voice within. We can also say that if you are in doubt about what is your inner guidance, you have not yet received the highest possible guidance that you could get.
And why have you not? Because you are not neutral about the situation. I know this is not very comforting, but I am not seeking to comfort you. I am seeking to help you see that regardless of how such a situation seems for all of you, there is always a way out of it. And that way is to go into as neutral of a state of mind as possible so that you are not reacting from fear or other things that can only come from separate selves. One thing you can do in this situation is ask yourself: “Why did your daughter choose to be born into this situation?” If your daughter did not want to have any contact with her father, she could have chosen a mother who had been artificially inseminated so there was no physical father in the picture. There is a reason why your daughter chose to be born into this situation. And it is that she needs to learn something from the situation, both from you and from her father. And it may be that you can help her learn what she needs to learn about her father or from her father, but you cannot do it if you are in fear or if you look at the situation in black and white terms.
In other words, you talk about protecting your daughter, but the only way to protect your daughter is not to keep her physically from her father. You can make calls for your daughter. You can, when she gets older, talk to your daughter, help her see certain things. But in order to do this, you have to resolve in yourself what is unsettled about your relationship with your daughter’s father or with that type of person. Because, again, you can ask yourself, why were you attracted to this kind of person? Because you wanted to learn something. Well, what was it? Have you fully learned it? I commend you for going into therapy and for working on yourself. And you just need to keep doing this and realize that there is something you have not seen. And when you come to see it, you will see that the situation can be dealt with in a different way than what you are thinking right now. Basically, whenever you feel stuck in a situation, the sense of being stuck comes because there is something you have not seen, something in your own psychology.
You can look at yourself, you can look at your life. I am talking here generally about all of you in similar situations and say: “Why did I put myself in this situation? Why did I choose the parents I had? Why did I choose the life I have had? Why did I do this in my life or do that in my life? What is the lesson I wanted to force myself to learn by putting myself in this situation where there is something in my own psychology that I cannot ignore, that I cannot cover over?”
You are doing the right thing. You just need to keep going further until you see what you have not seen yet. This is not just one thing for most of you. For most of you in these situations, it is not so that I could just give you one simple answer that would clear this up. Many people come and ask for advice, and they are hoping that: “Oh, an ascended master must be able to give me this one little key that will resolve everything.” But in most of these situations, there is a complex psychology involved, and there is not just one key. There is not just one separate self. So it is a process you must go through of gradually uncovering these selves until you come to that point where now you can make a decisive shift in how you look at the situation. Again, try not to look at it in black and white terms, that it has to be either this or that. There are always other scenarios and focus on what is best for the growth of all people involved.
Copyright © 2023 Kim Michaels