Why did I choose to have a child with special needs?

Question: My son is 15 and has autism and other related developmental delays. That means he is fully dependent upon the family, mainly myself to fulfill all his needs. I am also in a toxic marriage and my situation with my husband has been very difficult during the 17 years of our marriage. I am conflicted between thinking I can serve my son best by continuing to stay in the marriage and keeping the family together or to leave. But I am worried that leaving the marriage will cause my son suffering because of a broken family. I also feel it may be my primal or other self-projecting that I need to get out of this marriage because it seems so unbearable at times. I have been trying to resolve this dilemma for a while but not successful as my desires keep swaying and I am plagued by doubt as I am not sure about the inner guidance I think I am receiving from you. I would like to know from the masters what I should look at and focus on so I know the best way to work through this situation. If you can also elaborate on what this tells me about free will. What could I possibly want to learn about free will by choosing to have a child with special needs? What aspects of free will am I not looking at because of which I am so conflicted about how to proceed in my life?

Answer from the Ascended Master Mother Mary through Kim Michaels. This answer was given during the 2023 Korean Conference.

Well whenever you are conflicted and divided and then you are not sure about your direction, this is caused by subconscious selves that are in conflict with each other pulling you in different directions. The best recommendation I can give you as an ascended masters student is to use the books Healing Your Spiritual Traumas and the others, to expose these selves, work through them until you get down to your birth trauma.

There are people in the world who as part of their Divine plan take on this burden of having a handicapped family member and there can be various reasons why people do this. In some cases, it is because they have a history from past lives of not wanting to make decisions for themselves, always wanting to have some external force tell them what to do. They deliberately put themselves in this very difficult situation that can bring them to this point where they simply have to make their own decision and stand by it whatever the decision is.

There are also people who choose this situation because it teaches you that there is a difference between outer freedom and inner freedom. There are examples of people who have spent a long time in jail but who have worked on their state of mind to the point where they were more free psychologically than people who were not in jail and in a sense you could say that you are in a form of prison. You can consider what you can do to come to a point where you feel more free within regardless of the outer situation.

Of course, the conflict in the marriage also has to do with some subconscious selves that you have, obviously some subconscious selves in your husband as well, but it is, of course, easier for you to work on your own and then see if that changes the dynamic of the relationship or the family. You could, of course, also consider, just as a general remark, what institutions are available in your country for helping you with this so that you do not have to bear the entire burden yourself. I certainly feel compassion for your situation but in order to give you something that might help you change the equation it is almost always to seek to expose the separate selves that cause your reaction, cause you to have doubt and then you will gain greater clarity.


Copyright © 2023 Kim Michaels