How to free yourself from a codependent relationship 

Question: I ask the ascended masters to help me with a broader understanding of the following problem. My mother is an abusive person, and I have suffered from her attack on me, physically and emotionally, my whole life. All the other members of my family are entirely on her side, and no one even suspects my suffering because as a rule, abusers are believed by everyone around them, because they treat others differently. The ground for this woman’s hatred of me is my father. In her opinion, he abused her and broke her life. For some reason, I became to her a kind of enemy for life. Even though my mother also knows about the teachings of the ascended masters, she finds some arguments of her own there that I am still guilty of her broken life. She does not give me my share of the inheritance so that I can buy my place and get away from her. I am suffering psychologically very much because of all this family drama. Please, masters, tell me how to get out of this situation. Please help me see what I cannot see.

Answer from the Ascended Master Mother Mary through Kim Michaels. This answer was given during the 2022 Ukraine Webinar.

First of all, let me say that there are examples of people who are using our teachings to justify continuing their lifestyle of not wanting to take responsibility for themselves. If your mother is blaming you for your father’s abuse, she obviously has not taken responsibility for herself, and this means she is not really a serious ascended master student, or she would not do so.

What you can do is realize that the key to breaking free from your mother is not to receive your inheritance, buy your own place and move away from her. The key is in your psychology. You need to resolve what it is in your psychology that makes you think you cannot move away. What you are describing is a classical co-dependent relationship, where you have become dependent on your mother and therefore you think you cannot free yourself from her and the abuse. You can find psychological literature about co-dependent relationships, you can seek professional help, and I in fact encourage you to do so. But you can also use our tools about healing your spiritual traumas, resolving these separate selves, so that you can break free from this.

It is not a matter of physically moving away as much as psychologically moving away, so that even if your mother continues the behavior, it no longer affects you. We have given you the tools to accomplish this, but you have to be willing and have a strong determination to break free of this, which I realize is difficult when you are in a co-dependent relationship.

But in a sense, you can see, if you are willing, that your mother is projecting at you that she cannot change her life because of you. Yet at the same time you are projecting to your mother that you cannot change your life because of her. This is the classical co-dependent mechanics. You need to decide, do you want to break free, and then you need to do what is needed to break free. First of all, realize that it is not your mother who is preventing you from breaking free, it is a mechanism in your own psychology, the separate selves.


Copyright © 2022 Kim Michaels