When to leave an abusive relationship

TOPICS: Become aware of your deeper sensations – recognizing a karmic relationship – balancing karma – avoid staying in an abusive relationship – heal your won wounds and overcome fear –

Question: I have recently finished reading and studying your book Save Yourself and found it to be most enlightening and inspiring. Thank you so much for bringing forth these teachings. 

Page 129 – My understanding of the concept presented here is that it is not necessarily your karma when someone abuses you but it is always an opportunity to learn and grow. How can one distinguish whether or not they are receiving returning karma in an abusive relationship?

Excerpt from the book:

Question: Speaking of challenges that we encounter on the path. Is there a specific attitude or approach that will help people deal with life’s more difficult situations in a way that helps them grow?

I would recommend that you adopt the attitude that everything that happens to you is an opportunity for growth. Even life’s most difficult situations offer you an opportunity to learn something about life and to grow. It can be used as an opportunity to let go of some element of the lower consciousness or some attachment to the things of this world.

I want to make it clear that I am not thereby saying that everything that happens to you is acceptable according to some ultimate standard. It is not correct to say that if someone abuses you, it is just an opportunity for you to learn, and therefore abuse fits into the great scheme of things. Abuse, violence and other types of unkind behavior is not part of God’s plan or vision for this universe.

What I am saying is that you should approach every situation as an opportunity for you to grow, regardless of what other people do or how they respond to the situation. In that respect, it is extremely important to understand the Law of Cause and Effect. According to this law, no one can escape the consequences of their actions. If someone abuses you, that person will make personal karma and the person can never escape that karma. This is described in the Bible in the statement, “Vengeance is mine saith the Lord, I will repay.” The true meaning of that statement is that God will make sure that every lifestream will reap what it has sown. No one will escape the consequences of their actions.

When you understand how exact God’s law is, you can overcome one of the major stumbling blocks on the spiritual path. If you look at history, you will see that millions of people have allowed themselves to be dragged into drawn-out conflicts with other people. In many cases, such a conflict started because one person did something wrong to another. However, the second person now entered a state of consciousness in which he or she felt that it was necessary to punish the first person. When people enter that state of consciousness, when they respond with anger, hatred or the need for revenge, they are actually punishing themselves. [end quote]

Answer from ascended master Jesus through Kim Michaels:

This can be determined only on an individual basis. If you will use the spiritual tools I have given, especially the technique for inner attunement, you will gradually come to an intuitive understanding of what is happening in your relationships.

As a general guideline, let me advise people to be very sensitive to what they feel about a situation. For example, many people are in an abusive relationship but simply do not feel that they can let go of the other person and move on. If this feeling comes from deep within your heart, it is most likely a genuine intuitive sense that you are not done with the other person. The reason is that you either have not balanced your karma with that person or that you have not learned the lesson you needed to learn from the relationship. Either way, this intuitive sense is a clear indication that you need to stay in the relationship. (Unless the relationship is violent and your safety or heath is a concern.)

That being said, I also strongly encourage people to use the spiritual tools and to learn the lessons they need to learn from the situation. Once again, inner attunement is important and I encourage people to use the violet flame and the invocations and make specific calls for the consuming of all karma you may have with the other person. If you will diligently use these tools, you will at some point come to a clear inner recognition that something has fundamentally changed in the relationship. Either the relationship will improve, or you will know that it is time to move on.

Let me make it clear that many people stay in an abusive relationship when they should not do so. So the distinction here is whether you are acting on an intuitive impulse, which shows you that it is not time to move on, or whether you are acting based on fear of what will happen when you move on. Generally, you should never stay in a relationship because of fear. When fear is involved, you are always in an unhealthy situation that will impede your spiritual growth. Therefore, if you are committed to spiritual growth, you need to overcome those fears so that you can get a clear sense of what is the right course of action concerning the relationship.

Again, use the spiritual tools to overcome this fear. Be diligent about giving calls for your spiritual protection and ask Archangel Michael to consume your fears. Use the technique for inner attunement and ask your Christ self to show you how to overcome your fears and how to reach a higher understanding of the spiritual dynamics of the relationship.

I do not encourage anyone to stay in a relationship because of fear. Yet if you have fear, it will always impede your spiritual progress. Therefore, I encourage you to make it a priority to overcome the fear. This will give you greater clarity and make it easier to decide if or when to end the relationship.


Copyright © 2003 by Kim Michaels