TOPICS: When you see something in yourself, you will also see it in others – it is then your responsibility to speak out – everyone has blind spots – if you have attachments to other people’s reactions, heal your psychology – speak from love or remain silent – it is not your responsibility to make choices for others –
Question: If you have friends who are also on the spiritual path, and if we see in them something that they won’t let go of, like the ego, is it our responsibility to bring that to their attention if we recognize it? Or are we to work on our own ego before we work on that.
Answer from ascended master Jesus through Kim Michaels:
It is always your responsibility to first look at yourself, to look in the mirror. You know my parable about those who first see the mote in the eye of another and do not see the beam in their own eyes. So as a spiritual seeker you should always seek to see things in yourself. Yet as you walk the path, you will come to the point, where you do see things in yourself and therefore you also more clearly see what is going on in the psyche of another. So there will come a point where it is your responsibility to bring something to another’s attention, so that they might have the opportunity to see what they cannot see on their own.
Truly, spiritual seekers who are in the right frame of mind can assist each other greatly because every person has blind spots, things they cannot see in themselves but that are obvious to other people. And so by lovingly bringing this to each other’s attention you can assist each other greatly on the path.
The real test that you should apply to yourself is, whether you feel attached to what you see in the other person. Does it bother you? Are you angry over it? Do you fear it? Do you feel compelled to make the other person see his or her faults, feeling like you lose something or is violated if the other person doesn’t see it? And if you can identify those types of feelings in yourself, then it will be good to assume that you have not yet fully healed your own psychology.
Therefore, it might be better not to say anything to the other person because you can assume that as long as you still have attachments and negative feelings, those feelings will prevent you from seeing clearly what is going on in the other person’s psychology. You would then work on yourself – until you feel the greater clarity that comes with non-attachment – and then you would speak to the other person.
We might also say, that if you can bring a problem to another person’s attention from the purity of love, then by all means do so. But if you identify other feelings, then hold back awhile, look in the mirror and see if perhaps the other person is bringing out something in your own psychology that would be beneficial for you to heal so that you can be free and move on.
As I have said many times, balance and non-attachment is the key. If you are balanced, you see clearly and you are not compelled by self-centered feelings. If you are non-attached, you can tell the other person without being upset if he or she does not agree or does not change. Always remember to respect God’s law of free will. It IS your responsibility to give the other person the opportunity to change by telling him or her what you see. It is NOT your responsibility to make choices for the other person regarding what he or she should do with the information you offer.
Tell the other person and remain non-attached to the response. If you detect an attachment in yourself regarding the response, then use that to discover the beam in your own eye. When you react to other people – as opposed to freely choosing your response to a situation – it is always because you have something to resolve in yourself. So from that point of view, you can never lose by bringing things to other people’s attention. Just be open to discovering something in yourself and be determined that even if they don’t take the opportunity to learn from the situation, you will.
Copyright © 2005 by Kim Michaels