How to find the “right” partner for life

TOPICS: Focus on your own growth – magnetize the right partner by becoming the right partner – your partner is an opportunity to grow – look at your standard for the “right” partner – your spiritual partner helps you fulfill your divine plan – your current partner is always your “right” partner – find yourself first, then the spiritual partner will come – outpicturing a higher matrix for relationships –

Question: How does one find the right partner for life? Should one do nothing and wait for the right person to just come into his life, or should he take the active approach of searching not really knowing where to search or what to search for, for that matter? The closest to advice I have found is the thought that you have to kiss a hundred frogs, to find the one that turns into a prince (or princess), but I somehow find an inner rejection to that. What would be the right approach from a spiritual sense?

Answer from ascended master Jesus through Kim Michaels: (October 26, 2010)

From a spiritual perspective neither the passive nor the active approach you describe are constructive. Instead, I recommend taking an active approach in the sense that you focus on your own spiritual growth. Take note of my words from 2,000 years ago that are still applicable to everything you want in life:

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. (Matthew 6:33)

Instead of having the concept of “finding” the right partner in your mind, change your view to “magnetizing” the right partner. As we teach throughout this website, everything you see on earth is the outpicturing of the consciousness of humankind. Everything that happens in your own life is an outpicturing of your state of consciousness.

Seeking the “kingdom of God” is a metaphor for seeking the Christ consciousness. Thus, instead of focusing on getting what you want from an outside source, focus on raising your own consciousness, whereby you will effortlessly attract to you what you really want.

Where most people go wrong in seeking for the “right” partner is that they assume the “right” partner is a person with whom they do not need to change themselves. They seek a partner who will compensate for the unresolved aspects of their psychology, so they can feel complete or happy without looking at the beam in their own eye. If they really found such a partner, it might be a comfortable life, but it would be detrimental to their spiritual growth.

If you seek for a partner based on your present state of consciousness, what will be the inevitable result? It is that you attract a partner who corresponds to your present level of consciousness. There is nothing wrong with this—if you look at everything as an opportunity to grow.

In other words, you have attracted your current partner because that partner has the personality that can bring out in you precisely what you need to transcend in order to make progress towards Christhood. So if you use your current relationship as an opportunity for self-transcendence, it can bring you forward on your path. Yet if you leave this “frog” and start seeking for the “one in a hundred” then you will make no progress and will only attract the same kind of partner. I assure you that this can go on for more than a hundred times over different lifetimes. There is, of course, no guarantee that kissing a hundred frogs WILL turn one of them into a prince. If you doubt me, simply go to the nearest pond and start kissing away.

My point is that most people assume that they are already ready for the “right” partner. Yet for the vast majority of people, that is simply not the case. Most people will have to go through one or more relationships and a sincere process of self–transcendence in order to rise to the state of consciousness where they can magnetize the partner that is “right” for them in the current lifetime.

What does it mean when we say the “right” partner? Well, you have a divine plan for this lifetime, and that includes reaching a certain level of consciousness and then giving a service to life from that level. Thus, the “right” partner is the one that can help you take the last step toward the level of consciousness that is your planned goal for this lifetime, and who can then help you give your highest possible service to life. I would prefer to call this your “spiritual” partner instead of the relative word “right.”

Yet given that you need to go through a process in order to magnetize your spiritual partner – and given that this often requires people to have several relationships – one might also say that your current partner is always your “right” partner. You magnetized your current partner because he or she represents the perfect opportunity to take the next step on your personal path. And if you learn the highest possible lesson from that relationship, you will move a step closer to magnetizing your spiritual partner—and what could be wrong about that?

So if you feel that you have not yet found the “right” partner in life, then realize you have work to do on your own psychology. And then stop dreaming and looking for the pot of gold at the end of the dating site rainbow. Roll up your sleeves and make an all-out effort to heal your psychology, so you can find yourself. There is absolutely no way you can find your spiritual partner until you have found your self; until you are close to manifesting your own highest potential for this lifetime. Until you find the kingdom of God within yourself and the righteousness of unlocking your highest potential for this lifetime, your search for the “right” partner will not attract your spiritual partner.

Seeking for the “right” partner without seeking to change yourself is attempting to put the cart before the horse. It simply cannot be done. What CAN be done is applying the many tools for healing your psychology that are available on the toolbox website  and elsewhere.

Of course, this will only work if you are actually and truly willing to find your “right” partner, meaning you are willing to change yourself as needed before you can attract your spiritual partner instead of one that reflects your unresolved psychology. The highest form of relationship will not come unless you work on yourself. Many people are not willing to do this work, so they keep dreaming about a partner with whom they do not have to work on themselves because that partner is just sooo perfect. And as long as you dream, you can always project qualities that are just what you think you want, never having them disturbed by reality.

Of course, if THAT is the experience you want to have for the rest of this lifetime, I have no objection, as I respect the Law of Free Will. Of course, in that case, you don’t need my advice and I have none to offer. Yet if you do indeed want the experience of living up to your highest potential – including but not limited to finding your spiritual partner – I have much to offer, as it is indeed one of the goals of the Aquarian age to bring together those who have the highest potential to make a relationship work and to demonstrate a true spiritual relationship, where the partners multiply both their own and each others’ talents and thus form a higher union than most people have attained so far.

As the time is right, Mary Magdalene – now the Ascended Master Magda – and myself will bring out teachings on higher relationships. Yet there is no reason to wait for that, as there is already plenty of teachings available on how to raise your own consciousness. So get on with making yourself the best possible partner and trust that you will eventually attract to you your spiritual partner. Seek and ye shall find is true—but only when you seek inside yourself.


 Copyright © 2010 by Kim Michaels