How both men and women can develop a more mature attitude to sex

TOPICS: Natural progression in the life of a woman – focused on sex as a means of reproduction – a more relaxed attitude to the material realm – a more spiritual view of sexuality – sex as a means for greater oneness – transcending animal urges – sexual attractiveness has nothing to do with physical attributes – going beyond the false norm of what is a sexually attractive woman – men are truly attracted to femininity as a way to seek balance – women must be willing to receive actively –

Question: As Spiritual Beings, how do we spiritualize the sexual act and transmute the energy in the mass consciousness? Some women do and some do not feel that sex is a degrading act. Some are thinking that perhaps as a different age group of women have a different experience?

Answer from ascended master Mother Mary through Kim Michaels:

There is much more to be said about this topic. And surely we will say more as the time is appropriate, as the foundation is laid. But it is perfectly true that there is a different experience, depending on your age as a woman.

As everything has two sides, there is so to speak, an Alpha and an Omega aspect of sexual activity. The Omega aspect is, of course, the biological reproduction, the production of children, which at the current level of consciousness of humankind can only happen through physical activity. And so, what you often see is that – I am speaking here in general terms – but what you see is that there is a natural progression in the life of a woman, where when she is younger, she is more attuned to the need to produce children, therefore more attuned to her physical body and to the need for biological reproduction. And therefore, she often tends to have a different view of sexuality as not being a dirty, degrading activity, but indeed being a necessary activity for the reproduction of life.

You will also, though, see some generational differences, where there is now a younger generation coming into embodiment, who have for better or for worse, a more relaxed attitude to life and therefore have more of an attitude of, “Well, if we are here anyway, why not enjoy it,” which you see outplayed in certain, of course, perversions such as drugs and alcohol and partying. But you also see the positive aspect of a more relaxed attitude to the material realm in general. Nevertheless, my greater point is that as a woman goes through her reproductive age, she is generally more tied to the need to produce children and therefore tends to look upon sex as something that is indeed necessary, perfectly natural and unavoidable in a sense.

Yet when people mature – both men and women – they are meant to go beyond this stage. For, of course, men also when they are younger are driven by the need to reproduce, and so this comes out as men’s desire to have sex or have more of it, which is also driven by the desire for reproduction. This is manifest in your bodies in terms of hormones, that for many people are completely driving their relationships or their view of sexuality, where they simply let their hormones decide the frequency of their sexual activity. Nevertheless, as people mature and come to the point of going beyond the normal reproductive age, they are meant – ideally – to mature into taking a more spiritual view of life and indeed a more spiritual view of sexuality.

This then, in an ideal situation, would mean that both men and women will transform their view of sexuality. And in a more spiritual culture, where people have a spiritual understanding of who they are, it would indeed be not unusual that some couples would come of age and would desire to either abstain from sexuality for the rest of their lives and focus on spiritual activities, or they might abstain from it for a time in order to distance themselves from the consciousness that was there in the reproductive age, and indeed raise their awareness of sexuality to a more spiritual level. I am not saying all couples have to do this, but it will be helpful for many couples to have a period of abstaining from sexuality, in order to transcend the consciousness that they had earlier.

Now, there are then two ways that couples can go. They can either continue to abstain from sexuality or they can transform it into a more spiritual activity. Where instead of a physical activity, they begin to see it as a spiritual activity that has the purpose of helping both of them attain greater oneness with each other, which then can help each of them attain greater oneness with their Higher Selves. Now, as you well know yourselves, you do not need to be in a relationship, and you do not need to have sex with your partner in order to attain the greater sense of oneness with your Higher Self.

But nevertheless if you look at the general population, you will see that there are those, who need to first have a sense of oneness with a person that they can actually physically interact with, before they are able to attain that spiritual oneness with their Higher Beings. Many of you who are spiritual people have transcended that stage in past lifetimes, but many among the general population have not, and therefore it is indeed perfectly legitimate that people at that level of consciousness have continued to have sexual activity but transform it into a desire for oneness—spiritual oneness with each other in the relationship.

However, this will of course require some major transformation of both men and women, for men must indeed overcome the biological urge that really you can see in many animals, where the men out of biological reasons of broadening the gene pool, are driven by hormones to have sex with as many women as possible, which is what you indeed see in animal populations where they do not have monogamous relationships. This of course is not realistic at the human level. And those men who are seeking that kind of relationships with many women, have simply – to be honest – not transcended the animal urges.

So if men are able to transcend this, they can then begin to see that sexuality can have a higher purpose, which means then that they can escape the entire consciousness that sexuality and the desire for sexuality is driven by the physical attributes of the woman. Which of course drives many men to seek a certain stereotype, or to begin to look at their maturing wives as being not as sexually attractive as when the wives were younger. And do you see, that as long as men maintain this view, it is not possible for them to transcend into a more spiritual approach to sexuality. On the other hand, women must also transcend what you rightly called the mass consciousness that degraded women into sexual objects that have to live up to certain physical characteristics in order to be sexually attractive.

You must then as women come to recognize that if you have a partner who is able to transcend, what we might call, the biological approach to sex, and attain a more spiritual approach, well then you should also recognize that that partner will not find you attractive primarily because of your physical attributes, but because of who you are as a person. And therefore it does not matter, that your bodies are being transformed into no longer fitting the norm of what is considered sexually attractive in society.

You know that norm was unrealistic to begin with. And you know it is something put upon you by the dark forces—for certainly, when God has created diversity, then it cannot be God-inspired to set up a standard that all women should look a certain way in order to be attractive. This makes no sense whatsoever. And so you must recognize that in order to have that transcendence, both men and women must seek oneness, spiritual oneness, and this transcends the physical body.

As I said, there are many people who find it very easy to attain that oneness through physical union, but certainly it is not the only way it can be attained. But what I am encouraging you to ponder here is that there are stages in your life. There is a stage where you can – and many of you should for various reasons both karmic and spiritual – have children. But when you go beyond that age, well then you find a different approach, where men and women do not come together to reproduce physical children. But they come together to reproduce the spiritual children of the Christ child being born in both the man and the woman. And this then brings the entire relationship to a higher level. And as long as you are striving for that oneness, well then, whatever you desire to do in terms of sexuality will not be dirty, will not be degrading, will not be anti-spiritual. As long as the intent is pure, the activity will be pure—if you take proper precautions and invoke spiritual protection.

But this again relates once in a while sitting down, looking in the mirror and accepting your positive qualities. Do you understand, my beloved? As a woman you need to transcend the consciousness, that you will only be attractive to a man based on your physical attributes. You need to acknowledge that what men – at least mature, more spiritual men – are truly attracted to is your real Being as a woman. For men do not have as much of a female quality in themselves, and they have often been brought up to suppress what they have, and so they seek balance in themselves by interacting with you. And you women can, of course, find balance in yourselves by interacting with the men.

And so, do you understand here that it is not the physical that a man is truly attracted to—it is your female Being, but also your individual expression of that female Being. And therefore, he appreciates you for who you are—if he is a mature man. And you must then be willing to be the mature woman and accept that you are worthy of that appreciation. For if you do not accept yourselves as worthy, how can you receive what the man is offering you?

And then, if you do not receive, there is not the closing of the figure-eight flow. Which is why, Kuan Yin stated that receiving is an active quality. But when you are in a state of feeling that you are no longer attractive because your body has changed, when you feel you are not worthy of a man’s appreciation because of physical attributes, then you cannot take that active step of receiving and accepting the appreciation.

This is very similar to what happens in the material realm with the Mother Light itself, where it can be trapped in an imperfect form where it cannot receive the light from Above, the Light of the Father that can set it free. This is what you see in human beings in general, both men and women, that they are not able to receive the appreciation and the unconditional Love that they are constantly being offered from the ascended realm, from their own Higher Beings and from us of the ascended masters. And so, therefore, they cannot accept that they are worthy to transcend their current level of consciousness and rise above it, and indeed spiritualize their lives, no matter what mistakes they might have made in the past.

And so, again, there is much more to be said here and much more will be said as the foundation is set and as we have those, who are willing to be open. The key to raising up and healing the psyche of the nations is truly to raise up the relationship between man and woman, between the masculine and feminine aspect of God.

We encourage you to discuss this topic, even forming various groups where you can discuss this openly. And if the women desire to have a group where men are not present, then that is perfectly acceptable if you need to withdraw and have this resolved on your own. And then perhaps bring the men into the picture, after you have received some greater clarity on your own.

I am not saying this as a joke. I am simply acknowledging that this is primarily a topic, as we have said, that women need to resolve, and therefore you need to do what is necessary in order to resolve it. And the men need to accept that there are certain aspects of female psychology that they cannot understand, for indeed men tend to think differently. I am not saying that this is true for all men. But even many spiritual men do not fully understand what women experience.


Copyright © 2008 by Kim Michaels